HEY! So yesterday around 12 noon, I took my first bit of suboxone; only like 1mg. It kept away most of the withdrawals. So I went to bed last night, but didnt sleep great. I was tossing and turning, and hot. Finally, around 4 am, I had to take a little more suboxone, and went back to sleep until 5:30. I felt great when I woke up. I wasn't sick at all. It felt wonderful waking up and not feeling that dope sickness. It felt amazing knowing I could go to work today, and not worry myself to death hoping that I make enough money to buy more dope. It felt good living as a normal person.
I saw a man today, a customer, and he looked just like my dad. My heart sank. Oh how I miss my daddy so much. I just wanted to give this guy a big hug and never let him go. But it wasn't my dad. My dad is gone. And it is so hard for me to accept that. I think about this a lot when I get sober, and all the sadness just rushes back in, and I miss him terribly. I wish I could have just a little longer with him. I wish I could turn back time. I wish he was here and happy. It makes me so sad. :(
So I have almost made it through this day. Yes, I want to get high. But I can't right now. My mom and stepdad are taking the cash that I make everyday and putting it up for me. This just started, once they found out I was still doing heroin. So I have to be able to give them money everyday. I know it is for the best, and I need to quit heroin for good. But I miss it so much sometimes. I miss everything about it. :( Why did this happen to me?
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