So I have gone about 2 days now without heroin. But I have been using suboxone that I got off the street. I feel like I won't be able to sleep tonight. What I really want to do is get high. I think I might tomorrow. I am just too weak. Today started out great. I woke up feeling positive. After work, for some reason, I just started feeling really down. I tend to get really depressed..especially when I am trying to get off heroin. And lately, I have been having thoughts that it would be better if I wasn't even here. Because to me, I don't think I can ever feel truly happy. Heroin makes me feel happy. But it has also caused a lot of problems. Also, life just seems too hard. Too hard to get back on track and do something with myself. I dont like this sadness that I feel. I want to be high forever.