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Thursday, October 25, 2012

Struggling a bit

I got some heroin a couple days ago. The highest I have ever been.  I did it all that night. Over these past 2 ays, I have used 2 lortab pills. It has kept most of the withdrawals away. I am all out now though. So I will feel like crap in the morning, I am sure.

I was watching this show called Elementary. This guy in the show is a recovering heroin addict, and seeing him and his temptation, it just made me want to use. But I can't.

When I went to talk to my probation officer, I told him I had a problem with drugs. He asked me what drugs I use...I was ashamed to say it, but I told him...heroin. He just shook his head. He said that once people start using heroin, they never quit, they use it for life. I told him, no...I will quit. He said...no, they never can quit. Wow...thanks for the inspiration buddy. But maybe he is right.

Right now, I keep searching for a purpose, for some motivation. I can't seem to find anything. I have to get through this.

2 comments:

  1. How would he know whether a person could or couldn't stop using, of course it's possible !
    His lack of support is awfull, maybe you should ask for a different probation officer.

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    1. Hey. Yea, it was pretty disappointing to hear him say that. To be honest, in a way I was glad to start this probation because I thought he would offer some support that would help me...but all that hope shattered when he said that. He had no faith in me. But I guess it all really just comes down to me. I hope you are doing okay, haven't talked to ya lately!

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