What a day

So, I woke up today, planning on being sober all day. Then the thought hit me to just ask my dude if he would front me a bag until tomorrow. Surprisingly he said yes, but it would be a little while because he was in the process of getting more. After a few hours, he said he should have it by 7:30 pm. I had to make up a lie that I was going out to eat with friends or my parents would be wondering where I was going. So I had to go ahead and leave because I told my mom I had to meet my friends by 7:30. As I was walking to the gas station, I ran into this homeless man. I made a post about him a few weeks ago when he came in to where I work, and I gave him food and a couple dollars. He seemed pretty nice. So he remembered me, and we talked for a minute. I told him I was meeting a friend, he told me he was on his way to buy a joint. I made it to the gas station, then used a pay phone to call me dealer. Bad News. He was not able to get any! The guy he was buying from was out. But he said he would try another route, but it would be later. So I decided to go home, and just tell my parents that something came up and dinner was cancelled. When I got home, my parents weren't even there. So I decided to call my dealer back just to see what time he thought he would have it. Good thing I called, because he was on his way to get some from someone else, yay. And he told me to call back in 30 min. So I went ahead and left, before my parents got back. As I was walking back to the gas station, I saw the same homeless man. So we stopped and talked again. I asked him if he found what he was looking for. He said he had to go all over the place to find it, but ended up finding weed and crack, and he was about to smoke, and asked if I cared to join. I had some time to kill, so I said sure, why not. So we made our way into a little wooded area close to the gas station. I think this area must be where he sleeps, or 'lives'. He put a shirt down on the ground for me to sit on, so I did. He was very polite. And then he pulled out his pipe, and we smoked. It was pretty good stuff. We just hung out and talked for a minute. He was saying how he could get us more once he had money. But I told him I had to go. He is a really nice person though. I am sure I will see him around. So I made it to the gas station, and finally was about to meet him and get my bag. I got it, and did most of it. I felt it, and it took away my withdrawals...but I didnt feel much at all. So I did the rest of the bag. Still don't feel too much. I don't know if it is because I smoked that pipe earlier o what. But I guess I shouldn't complain.

Anyway. So now I am home. Just took a shower, and am being lazy. Yes, I do feel guilty and ashamed of the things I do. I know it is wrong and I shouldn't be doing this stuff. But I still do it. I don't know why. Let's see what tomorrow brings...