I had the weirdest dream last night. I was in the car with an old friend of mine. It was late at night, and we had just pulled over and parked in front of some building that was unknown to us. We were acting silly like we always do, listening to music, dancing, just being loud and goofy. All of a sudden we heard a bunch of guns being cocked and then, "FREEZE, PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND STEP OUT OF THE CAR, THIS IS THE POLICE!" I didn't know what the hell was going on. I was afraid to move too fast. I put my hands up and yelled out that I had to unlock the door. Then we both stepped out. I had my case that I keep me heroin and syringes in with me. As I was stepping out, I tried to slide it under my seat. I kept thinking, "Dammit, they are going to find it...and then my friend is going to find out that I use heroin!" They took us inside the building..apparently it was some kind of police station/jail. They put us in a room together, and kept questioning us. They left the room. There was a manhole on the floor in the room. My friend used all her strength and moved to cement lid. Then she climbed in it. I asked her what she was doing...she said,"Getting the hell out of here!" I was too scared to do it. After she left, I ran back out to my car to get my bag...they werent keeping us locked in the room. They apparently didn't search our car...my bag was still there. I went back in, and the cop didn't seem to care that my friend had left. So I started thinking.....they have no reason to arrest us and keep us here, they haven't found anything. So I asked him if I was under arrest and if I had to stay..he told me no. So..I left, all shooked up! And that was pretty much it. Weird huh? Then I woke up dope sick.
I had only saved a tiny bit for this morning, but it didn't do much. I still felt rough. I finally scored around 2:30, before I went to work,
There is a new girl at work now. She came in yesterday to do paperwork. The first thing I noticed about her were her eyes, they were VERY pinned, and glossy. Then today, I had to train her. She mentioned that she is on suboxone. So we talked about that for a while. I didn't mention that I am a heroin addict. I just can't bring myself to tell people. Although, I think it would be good to have someone, a friend especially, that knew about it. Maybe they could help give me encouragement. Instead, I end up making friends with other "users" somehow. But I have a feeling she is using more than suboxone. When I take suboxone, it doesn't make my eyes looks THAT glossy and pinned. Maybe that's just me.
Anyway, when I ordered my syringes online, I put my friends name on it, with my address. My plan was to tell my mom that my friend went out of town and asked if she could send a package here. But my mom wasn't here when it came, so I didn't have to tell her anything. I threw the box away in the trash can in my room. But I put the receipt in a different trash bag in the kitchen, all the way at the bottom. I wanted to play it safe, in case she somehow found it in the trash. Well...yesterday she said.."Why would your friend be getting mail sent to our address?!" And she said it with attitude. So I just told her the lie that I already thought about. She was NOT happy about it, and acted like she didn't believe me. Whatever. But what pisses me off...she went through my trash bag?! Really?! Geez! Good thing I didn't keep the receipt with it!
Well, I guess that is all that has been going on. Nothing exciting. GOOD NIGHT!
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