Loser

I have to admit, I feel like a fucking loser, a huge disappointment.  My sister is married with a kid, living her happy life, my brother is married, and in the military and just bought a house. Then there is me. I have got nothing, done nothing successful, I am a criminal, a drug addict, living with my parents. My mom used to be so proud of me. Now, it is nothing but disappointment. I feel terrible. So ashamed.

I am craving really badly.  I think this is day 2 with no heroin. I just got off the phone with my dealer asking if he would spot me something until tomorrow. He has done it before. So I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask. He said no, he doesn't do credit anymore. I dont go in to work until 11, and will have some money then. He said he would come meet me. I dunno....maybe I should take some more suboxone. The cravings are pretty  bad. I think I will now. I'll see it it helps.